Invaded!
by Chris Gammon
Summary: Chapter 12 up! Things got a whole lot longer! A fallen satellite and a strange kid leads to a crossover of the two most disturbed cartoons ever made! Witness Courage fight the craziest invader of all!
1. So it begins

"You mean to tell me that yet another satellite is going to fall from orbit?" a short man with a white mustache asked, socking the soldier uniformed man.  
  
"Yes, sir. It seems to happen a lot these days." The military general said, whipping out a large hammer and slamming it down on the short man.  
  
"Well, that satellite contains stuff about our past. It was designed to be a communication with other life-forms, so they can learn and understand us. Prompting them to do the same." The short man said, pulling a small cannon. He blasted the military general through the wall.  
  
Elsewhere, in a small town, a kid was surfing the net. He wore gothic looking black clothes, including the jacket. The monitor light of his laptop gleaming off his round glasses.  
  
"DIB! DAD SAYS TO MAKE DINNER HE HAS WORK TO DO!" his sister Gaz said, walking in.  
  
"Hold on, I'm tracking this satellite that is falling. I don't know the exact trajectory yet, but I'll figure it out!" Dib said, holding up his hand.  
  
"GET YOUR DORKY BUTT IN THERE NOW!" Gaz said grabbing Dib by his color and throwing him into the kitchen. Gaz was a mini war machine. She took no crap and beat it out of anybody that gave it to her.  
  
"Why did he have to bet the big noggin?" she asked herself. She sighed and walked off.  
  
In the basement, Professor Membrane was talking on his cell phone. His face always masked by his lab coat, so we could only imagine his surprise when he got the news.  
  
"You mean that satellite I built is finally coming down? It should be out of the solar system by now! What's the problem?"  
  
"We don't know. It seems something has pulled it back into our gravitational field and is making it fall." Said the short man, hitting the military guy with a golf club.  
  
The military guy retaliated, and all Prof. Membrane heard before the dial tone, was a loud whack. He looked at the phone and shrugged. He went back to his work, trying to figure out what is going on.  
  
Elsewhere still, the satellite was attracting more attention than thought. Someone was watching intently, waiting for the moment to steal it. With Earth's history, he can use it to conquer. It would have been a moment to savior if it wasn't for the disgusting eating noises from his green dog. It had a visible zipper, and seemed odd looking. The dog pulled its cloth face back to reveal a robot with blue eyes. He saw the shiny blip on the monitor and ran toward it.  
  
"OHHH! What's that?" it asked like a three year old.  
  
"This Gur, is the answer to all our prayers. This orbity, space metal doohickie has all of this planet's history in it. If we know the past, we can plan the future!" the red eyed alien said laughing manically.  
  
"Cool. Time for Angry Beavers!" Gur ran off. (in case you didn't know, Dagget and Zim share the same voice actor, it's obvious.)  
  
Zim slapped his forehead. He looked back at the giant tractor beam he had built, smiling proudly. This was what was bringing the satellite down. Suddenly, the silence was interrupted by the blaring of a warning. Zim ran up to his console and looked over the information scrolling frantically in some alien symbols.  
  
"CURSES! It seems the earth's rotation has messed up the path of the orbity space doohickie. It isn't going to land here, but elsewhere! But where, WHERE!" Zim said hitting the monitor.  
  
As if on cue, typing appeared onscreen. It read the following:  
  
Change in trajectory of orbiting system in gravitational pull New course has been calculated New landing zone for system is.  
  
NOWHERE, KANSAS  
  
Zim smiled.  
  
"GUR! We're going on a road trip!" he said evilly, tenting his fingers. 


	2. The Uninvited

Outside of a small rickety farmhouse, a pink dog was looking up at the sky. A flaming ball of something was visible, but not to close. It seemed to be a meteor or something of the like.  
  
Courage looked back down to see the usual landscape, and the habits of Muriel and Eustace. He looked back up at the sky, worried. If it was a meteor, it could mean Armageddon on a Bruce Willis scale. On the other hand, it could break up in the atmosphere and become harmless fragments.  
  
Either way, it was here now. What it was going to do is uncertain, but what it was doing now was the main focus. He ran to Muriel and pointed to the sky, making frantic babbling noises.  
  
"Oh my. Such a lovely sunrise." Muriel said.  
  
Courage sighed. He walked toward the farmhouse, feeling defeated. He took one last look at the fireball, and went inside. What was he going to do?  
  
Later on in the afternoon, everyone else went back into the farmhouse. Muriel sat watching TV and Eustace was reading his paper. The headlines even noticed the fireball.  
  
Courage looked up from the floor, and read the front page.  
  
The "History Satellite" built by Professor Membrane, was an achievement that hoped to accomplish what other satellites have set out to do. Establish contact with other life forms and teach them about us. Then they would teach us about them in a return flight. By doing this, we hope to share technologies and opinions to better society in everyone's life, no matter what the species.  
  
Unfortunately, the satellite will crash today, after several years in orbit. Apparently it hadn't succeed as well as the government hoped, and will now plummet harmlessly into the Nowhere desert area.  
  
Courage sighed in relief. It wasn't going to hurt anything, just crash. The government will pick it up and nothing bad will happen. This was great news.  
  
A knock on the door caught everyone's attention. Eustace grumbled and answered the door reluctantly.  
  
"Good evening kind sir, I was hoping you would let me share in you humble homestead. My transportation device seemed to have malfunctioned and I was wondering if you could..."  
  
"WE DON'T WANT ANY!" Eustace yelled, and slammed the door in the persons face. He walked back to his chair laughing.  
  
"Eustace, why did you do such a thing?" Muriel asked angered. "Courage, go get the door, invite our guest in."  
  
Courage smiled and opened the door. There stood a green kid with blue eyes. His black hair was sticking up in an Alfalfa spike, and he wore a red and black striped shirt. His black boots and polka-dotted backpack finished the look.  
  
Courage felt odd, not knowing what to say about the green skin without being hurtful or offensive. Then the kid's dog came up to him. It was green too, and had a frozen goofy looking face. As if it were a badly sewn mask. The most awkward thing about the dog, was a zipper looking silver stripe going down its body.  
  
"Hello fine K9 companion, I am Zim and this is my..dog..Gur." the kid said extending his hand in greeting.  
  
Courage held out his paw and they shook hands.  
  
"Well Courage, you do seem to have a knack for making friends! And you are?" Muriel asked.  
  
"I'm Zim," Zim said, pointing to himself with his thumb. "And this is my..dog..Gur!" he said once again.  
  
"Nice to meet you! I'm Muriel, and this is my dog Courage! Won't you come in?" she asked.  
  
"I SAID I DON'T WANT ANY!" Eustace shouted.  
  
"Never mind Eustace, he's always this way. I'll go get you some tea!" and Muriel went off into the kitchen.  
  
Courage and Zim sat on opposite ends of the couch, looking at each other. Zim seemed odd, but in an interesting sort of way. Not scary odd. Courage still didn't know what to say, or even if he should talk.  
  
"Hello." Courage said waving.  
  
Zim cocked an eyebrow and looked at Courage. He seemed surprised that he heard a dog talk. Sure Gur talked, but he wasn't a dog.  
  
Courage fell off the couch when something resembling a giant metal spider leg, came out of Zim's backpack in a flash. It was gone before Courage could make anything out and Zim was snow holding a tape recorder.  
  
"I have taken residence at this couples house, hoping to intercept that space doohickie without any interference. The couple are normal Earth life-forms, a crotchety dominate male figure, and a motherly female figure.  
  
"It appears the female uses her paternal instincts to take care of her pet K9 named Courage. I observed this K9 species first hand, and discovered it can speak in Earth language! I will have to take this find back for study along with the doohickie."  
  
Zim innocently placed his recorder in his pocket, and started to whistle while twiddling his thumbs.  
  
Courage couldn't believe this. Was this kid an alien? And was this somehow involved with the satellite? Courage was about to go to the attic when Muriel came back with the tea.  
  
"Excuse me mam'm. Do you have a communication device in which I may transmit my location to my ...parents..at my home plan..I mean my home?" Zim asked, nearly blowing the whole thing.  
  
"You mean like a computer? Sure! It's up in the attic! I'll bring you more tea!"  
  
Zim ran upstairs, leaving Courage in a wonder.  
  
Courage stood silently outside the doorway, and listened.  
  
"It seems the female figure makes this digestible substance called "tea". It is very relaxing and can may be used as some sort of sedative. Must take back for further study. I will now attempt to analyze this primitive "internet" invented by someone named "Al Gore" so I hear. Puny humans and their pitiful technology."  
  
More spider legs came from Zim's backpack and latched on the computer.  
  
Courage was already a half a mile away from the house in general. After a bit of screaming, he started to breathe again. He really was an alien, and wants something! But what is it?  
  
Courage looked up at the sky again, night began to fall and the fireball looked even more magnificent. Courage snapped his fingers.  
  
THAT'S IT! HE WANTS THE SATELLITTE! Courage thought.  
  
This was going to be an interesting time indeed. 


	3. Mysterous Going Ons

Everyone was now seated at the table. Muriel fixed a lovely dinner of chicken and potatoes.  
  
Zim eyed his chicken form every angel, and analyzed it with some sort of device. He determined that this poultry product was safe to consume, and began eating.  
  
Gir didn't even take his off the plate, and the whole thing was gone in the blink of an eye.  
  
Courage winced at this disgusting sight, and looked over at Eustace who was hidden behind his paper.  
  
"Freaks." Eustace muttered, and grabbed a leg. His slurping and gulping sounded worse than Gir's.  
  
Courage ate, but kept an eye on Zim. Zim leaned over to Gir and whispered something.  
  
"Tonight, we'll analyze the humans. No since in wasting time while we wait."  
  
Gir nodded, Courage gasped.  
  
"Courage," Muriel said cheerfully, "why don't you let Zim have your bed for a few nights? You can sleep with us like always."  
  
Courage shook his head, not out of rudeness, but out of fear. Reluctantly, he lost the argument and sighed.  
  
That night, Courage approached his master's bedroom. He decided to peek in on Zim, just to see what was going on. He peered around he corner and saw Zim's back to him, sitting on the cot. He was fiddling with something, and Courage held his breath when he saw Zim's blue eyes hit the floor.  
  
The final straw was when Gir shed his cloth dog costume, revealing his robotic form. Courage ran back to Muriel's room and lie on the foot of the bed. He had a lot of trouble getting to sleep now.  
  
Maybe it was for the best though, as around midnight Zim and Gir walked in the room holding something.  
  
The moonlight shone through the window, amplified by the flames of the satellite still falling, growing ever closer. The light shone on Zim's face, showing red eyes and no hair.  
  
Courage pretended to be asleep when the two approached the bed. Just as Zim was about to use his tools, Courage leapt off the bed and slammed Zim to the floor.  
  
"Get off me! Stupid dog!" Zim yelled. The light came on in the room and the two humans were awake.  
  
"Courage, what has gotten into you? Get off our guest!" Muriel scolded.  
  
"Yeah, Stupid dog!" Zim added as Courage climbed off of him. Zim immediately covered his eyes hiding his true form.  
  
"That's what I always say to him! 'You Stupid Dog!'" Eustace said.  
  
"But.but.." Courage stuttered. It was too late though. Zim had left, and Courage was forced to sleep outside.  
  
Courage shivered in the cold. He figured he'd never get to sleep now and decided to keep moving to circulate blood for warmth. He decided to explore around the area, wondering how they got here. Did they have a UFO?  
  
He looked in the barn and saw a small craft. It wasn't a UFO, but more like a mini shuttle. They really were aliens after all. Whatever they wanted that satellite for, it wasn't going to be good.  
  
He crawled under a pile of hay to keep warm, and drifted off to sleep. Hoping tomorrow would be better. 


	4. Play Along

Zim had forgotten all about messing with the humans, and went to sleep. Courage managed to slip back into the house, and went up to the attic. He saw the computer on and a message typed across the screen. It looked like a journal, but typed in an indecipherable way. He doesn't have time to sit and figure it out.  
  
But You Do: Hey kids! Help Courage translate this bizarre text, and see if you can uncover the true intentions of Zim. Copy it to a Word doc and translate it to the best of your ability. Send it back to me in the review box, or by E-mail. Find out next chapter how close you were! Play along and have fun!  
  
/031103/  
  
+0d4y, 1 !)i5[0v3R3d 7h15 D3v1C3 n 0rB1+ 4n[) D3c1d3!) +h47 1 w00D ^^4K3 7h1$ ^^y +00L F0ur W0rLd (0^qu3$7! 7H15 W1lL b3 Gr8!  
  
/031203/  
  
P4k3D ^^y 0bJ3c+$ 0f N3Ed 4nD $3+ 0U7 +0 4Rr1v3 @ 7h3 !)35+10N pt. ^^4Rk3d 0N Mi M4p. 4R^^463D!)1oN W1lL 4Rr1v3! OX!  
  
/031303/  
  
+4Kn 1n By3 4 K1^!) w0M4n, 0ld M@n, 4nD @ S(4r3Dy kay9. ^^u$+ D00 57Udy.  
  
/031403/  
  
L4$+ N16hT +H47 $+0op1D D4w9 Ru1n3!) ^^y pl4n$! H3 Mu$+ B3 3L1^^iN83d! 4$ 0F 24:00:00 hrs. 3ye W1LL Pl4n! 


	5. Comotion!

Okay, let's see how good you are! "(0n9r4T5, ^^r. R!"  
  
03/11/03  
  
Today I discovered this device in orbit and decided that I would make this my tool for world conquest! This will be great!  
  
03/12/03  
  
Packed my objects of need and set out to arrive at the destination point marked on my map. Armageddon will arrive! (Skull and cross-bones)  
  
03/13/03  
  
Taken in by a kindly old woman, old man, and scardey K9. Must do study.  
  
03/14/03  
  
Last night, that stupid dog ruined my plans! He must be eliminated! As of 24:00:00 hours (midnight in 12 hour time) I will plan!  
  
With that tripe out of the way, keep an eye out for six characters. 4 will arrive shortly and will instantly be recognized by certain someone's. The other 2 will only be around for a few seconds (they're my chicken from outer space; ya know the one in every episode? They're like my Jay and Silent Bob in all of Kevin Smith's flicks!) and will only be noticed by my loyal fanbase.  
  
Courage still pondered over what that odd text-messaging meant. Could it be something evil? A top-secret plan of destruction?  
  
He wandered around and heard some racket under one of the windows. He looked out and saw a green armadillo that was half metal, and a Sonic looking fellow that was all black. They were fooling around outside.  
  
"Why are you two here?" Courage asked rolling his eyes. Sure those two were insane, but no one to fear because they mess themselves up before harm can come.  
  
"We were just playin' honest!" the hedgehog said.  
  
The Armadillo laughed. "We saw that creepy green kid come into your house a few days back. We wanted to welcome him properly!"  
  
"Don't you two have a TV show to cancel?" Courage quipped.  
  
"Ohhhhh! Just for that, I won't tell ya what this means!" the armadillo said waving a piece of paper. It was a printout of Zim's journal!  
  
"How did you get that?" Courage asked in amazement.  
  
"How do I get anything?" the armadillo said smiling. He whispered the meaning of the scrambled text into Courage's ear.  
  
They ran off, leaving Courage to stew in panic of near Armageddon. He would've broke down and cried, if it weren't for the loud metallic crash that shook the entire area.  
  
"Looks like the war with Saddam is spreading! Let's bail before we wind up in Camp X-Ray!" the armadillo said, and they finally left.  
  
Courage looked and saw the satellite had dug an enormous crater into the sand. It still smoldered.  
  
Eustace and Muriel were already awake. Zim didn't get out of bed. He stared at the ceiling, smiling darkly at the whooping of a soon to be rich Eustace.  
  
"Rich, rich, rich!" Eustace began dancing.  
  
"Eustace, that's government property! I hear on TV that tampering with that stuff is dangerous! They say the government can make you disappear! Erase all your records and everything!" Muriel warned.  
  
"Nobody's touching my records. I like Velvet Vic!" Eustace said, totally misunderstanding.  
  
Courage began tugging on his ears. This was not good at all. Zim would be ready to rip this thing apart for whatever he wants. And what was that plan he typed about?  
  
This would've all been saved for a later time, if not for the fact a heavily armored vehicle skidded sideways and stopped, nearly landing on its side.  
  
The door flew open and Thug 1, 2, and 3 got out (from "Invisible Muriel"), and did their action poses. Then a Power Rangers style formation, then drew their guns.  
  
Four more important people stepped out. All were well dressed and looked like Men In Black. The three men had slicked back hair, and the girl a camera. All wore shades.  
  
"You're doing it again. We almost flipped." Agent Gammon said.  
  
"Well, you drive then smarty! I bet you can't stop on a dime!" Agent Gareth said crossing his arms.  
  
"I can stop on a dime, you need a whole dollar!" Agent Gammon snapped. The two were now fighting. After Agent R broke them up, they dusted off and regained composure. Agent DM snapped a few pictures of empty sky, smiling.  
  
Courage rolled his eyes, and realized that "government Intelligence" was an oxymoron.  
  
Another black car rolled up, and two more agents stepped out. The tall man began to speak.  
  
"See Scully. The truth is out there!"  
  
"Mulder, I think we're in the wrong area." And the two drove off.  
  
Courage was beginning to think he was dreaming. All this madness, going on.  
  
Zim looked out the attic window. He hadn't really thought of a plan yet. But had one now.  
  
"It appears that a mainline busted in the crash, releasing a gas. Though not poisonous, it can cause hallucinations. Such as the mass hallucination suffered by the dog, who was too close to the proximity of the crash site." Gir said in almost light speed.  
  
Zim picked up Gir and dropped him on his head, making his red eyes blue again.  
  
"Ohhh! Shiny!" Gir said, looking out the window.  
  
Courage shook his head. The four agents still remained, but Mulder and Scully made it apparent that something was off kilter. He began rubbing his eyes when everything began to spin slightly. He felt lightheaded and on the verge of..  
  
".making an involuntary personal protein spill, in laymans terms, vomit." Gir said.  
  
"Some side effects." Zim said smiling more sinisterly. "This will be used to my advantage! He won't know what's real or not, meaning that I can sneak up and strike!"  
  
"So, apparently this satellite busted open a natural gas mainline. Though not flammable, it can result in a sickly feeling and hallucinations. People, don't breath the air." Agent R warned his fellow agents.  
  
They all produced oxygen masks and put them on.  
  
"Agent Gammon, go check on the locales of the city. If this stuff gets there, panic could ensue."  
  
R turned to Gareth.  
  
"You cord off the area and make sure no one touches or even sees this thing. If anyone has knowledge of this, the boss will have our heads!"  
  
He turned to DM.  
  
"You, get a clean up squad here. While waiting, take pictures for our report. Help Agent Gareth keep any trespassers out."  
  
Finally, he turned to the thugs in black.  
  
"Make sure everyone that does happen to see this, gets..ya know." R said winking.  
  
The thugs nodded. And began to talk to each other through walky talkies, even though they were near each other!  
  
"The eagle has landed and the catbox needs scooping!" 1 said.  
  
"Copy, ready to storm the barn and clear the chickens." 3 said.  
  
2 looked at his watch, and showed it to the other two thugs. They all nodded, and ate their toast.  
  
Agent R just shook his head, rubbing his temples.  
  
"LET'S MOVE!" Agent R said, and the split-up began.  
  
When everyone was clear, Agent R approached the family.  
  
"Sir, mam'm, and dog. We understand terror alerts are high and war has begun. This is not related to any war or terrorist attack of any kind, and is purely coincidental. If your would just fill out these forms to acknowledge that your never saw anything and to agree that if a word of this is breathed you will never have existed, we can get down to business."  
  
"See Eustace, I told you that they would make us "disappear" if you messed with government property!" Muriel said,  
  
"Blah, blah, blah! I ain't singing nothing until I get a reward of some kind!"  
  
"Sir, we had no reward. If you ask again, we will hold you in as a security threat." Agent R warned, taking off his shades.  
  
"Does that mean I'm getting paid?" Eustace asked.  
  
Agent R shook his head, and snapped his fingers. Thug 2 came up and arm- locked Eustace. He was placed in the back of the AUV (armored assault vehicle) to cool off and shut up.  
  
"What if I get hungry?" Eustace grumbled though the bars.  
  
A roll of Mentos hit the metal floor, and Thug 2 walked off laughing.  
  
Courage was already in the house, safe from all the outside commotion. He let the government do their work, while he did his.  
  
He heard someone coming down the stairs, and a voice.  
  
"Oh doggy! Doggy, doggy, doggy!" Zim said as he deliberately walked each stair slowly.  
  
Courage whined. 


	6. ET GO HOME! This is Zim's turf now!

[Spontaneous Madness is abound and more on the way. This gas is real, and the story is interesting. It is ethylene, and was inhaled by the Oracle at Delphi when she gave visitors her prophecies in tongues and translated by priests. At one time, everyone had access to the gas, and abused the privilege. The "high" it induced led to most of the people jumping into the hole from where the fumes came. (I sound like such an insane dork)!  
  
So in my way of combining fiction with enough reality to make it convincing, is just a by-product of madness spawned forth from laughing at life and death, and just being freaky! So witness me stuff cartoons and current events into my mind blender, push puree, and watch the goo fly!  
  
-With love from Rex, Dark Sonic, and all of Rexco! We wish our troops overseas a big I TOLD YOU SO!]  
  
Nowhere City: March 20, 2003: 7:48pm  
  
Agent Gammon walked through the city, noticing it strangely quiet. He heard a commotion in the distance and approached a crowd of people. There was a pig in an apron, a man with a white mustache, another man of Asian appearance wearing shades, and various other townsfolk crowed around a fire in an alley.  
  
"Look! It is one to oppose our law!" Mayor Fifth said, pointing to Agent Gammon.  
  
"We must stop the disobeyer!" another voice called. Soon an unruly mob was chasing Agent Gammon through the streets.  
  
Agent R's earpiece kicked on and Agent Gammon was heard screaming.  
  
"What's wrong? Copy!" Agent R commanded, holding the piece with his finger. "Has the town inhaled the gas?"  
  
"What do you think?" Agent Gammon replied amongst the voices of hollering townsfolk.  
  
"O..kay." Agent R trailed off. He turned back to the old couple, still trying to make heads and tails of the mountain of documents.  
  
"D'oh! Wicked! Stupid red tape! I want me money!" Eustace grumbled.  
  
"You want to go back into the AUV?" Agent R asked, pointing a stern finger.  
  
Eustace shook his head, and remained silent.  
  
Agent R turned to look at Agent DM and Agent Gareth, keeping watch for trespassers.  
  
"So, do you think that Agent Gammon is insane?" Agent Gareth asked.  
  
"Not really, although he creeps me out sometimes. I hate how he butchers Sailor Moon for his stories!" Agent DM said kind of angry.  
  
"Agent R is staring at us again. I think he's trying to tell us to do our job." Agent Gareth said, looking over at Agent R.  
  
Agent R was running in place, and pointing to his earpiece. Trying to convey that Agent Gammon was in trouble. But it was misunderstood, and ignored.  
  
"Ah, well. I'm sure Agent Gammon can take care of himself." Agent R said to himself, looking at the ground.  
  
Agent Gammon was up against a wall, with angry townsfolk crowding him. He sore he saw a duck in a blue toupee, and a giant roach in the crowd. He was seriously beginning to think he had breathed it in as well. Then he realized that his mask was still functioning properly and that he really did see those things.  
  
"I hope." Agent R turned to the old couple again, getting deeper in paper.  
  
"Where's your dog?" he asked.  
  
"Probably in the house. You gave him such a fright an all." Muriel said, muffled by the paper.  
  
Agent R looked at the house. A loud ruckus broke out, and the sounds of shattering glass, splintering wood, and metal hitting metal filled the house.  
  
Agent R sprinted towards the door, and tore it open. Furniture was toppled, and pictures off the wall were strewn about the living room. A large hole was made in the wall, and Courage lie motionless on the floor.  
  
"Get me a doctor! Now!" Agent R ordered into his earpiece to the other Agents outside. 


	7. Determinator a dertimined terminator!

"Hello? Who is this?" an Indian voice answered.  
  
"This is the FBI. We have a patient in serious condition." Agent R examined Courage's body. There was a faint pulse, and a nasty cut along his side.  
  
"Nothing to worry about, nothing at all." Dr. Vindaloo replied.  
  
"If I seem to remember, you're not a legal immigrant are you?" Agent R asked.  
  
"Get him here right away!" Vindaloo said, quickly, ignoring that remark.  
  
Courage came too. He looked around and saw everyone standing over him. He felt week, like a lot of blood was drained from him. His half open eyes focused on Dr. Vindaloo looking at the nasty scrape.  
  
"What happened dog?" Vindaloo asked, looking at Courage with a raised brow.  
  
Courage remembered that since no one knew he could talk, they wouldn't understand him. He wrote down what happened on a notepad Agent R gave him, and Agent R read it back to the rest of the room.  
  
[Flashback to the house]  
  
"Oh doggy. Doggy, doggy, doggy." Zim said, slowly coming down the stairs. Courage felt lightheaded still from that ethylene and couldn't see straight. Everything swiveled in and out of focus.  
  
Zim finally approached the foot of the stairs. He smiled an evil smile. Four metallic spider legs came out of his backpack, permanently attached to his back I might add. He crawled across the floor, laughing evilly.  
  
Courage still wasn't sure what was real and what was not. It could all be an illusion. But Courage remembered that he saw spider legs before inhaling the gas. This was real.  
  
Courage grabbed a metal cane from the umbrella basket, and proceeded to drunken swordfight, hoping to be intimidating enough to avoid fighting in his current condition.  
  
Unfortunately, Zim called his bluff and lunged on the offense. He scraped Courage badly on the side, slamming him against the wall. The pictures fell off and hit the floor, shattering.  
  
Courage managed to deflect a couple of the legs, but the other 2 got him and threw him into the sofa. This made the sofa fall backwards and hit the TV, breaking it.  
  
Zim laughed, then ripped a hole in the wall and vanished over the horizon.  
  
[BACK TO NOW]  
  
"So that was the noise I heard inside. Are you sure this is what happened? It seems pretty far fetched. That gas can do that to you." Agent R said.  
  
"But.but." Courage stuttered.  
  
"Stupid dog! Ruin the house then blame that kid! Lously liar!" Eustace said. He stormed out.  
  
"But."  
  
"Now Courage.It isn't nice to blame other people." Muriel said. "I hope you get better soon, but don't do this again."  
  
She was gone.  
  
"I ought to arrest you for lying to the government. Metal spider legs. Yeah right." Agent R muttered to himself.  
  
"But."  
  
"I know aliens exist, I work for the government. But we have no record of any kind of what you reported. I didn't even see anybody leave the house. So that is impossible."  
  
"But.."  
  
"Get well, Courage." Agent R said in a cold monotone voice, replacing his shades. He walked off, leaving Courage alone.  
  
"but." Courage whimpered. He sat in the bed, his paws folded on the blanket. He was almost ready to cry. It hurts when the ones you love don't believe you. He felt tears well up in his eyes.  
  
He heard a ruckus outside. He strained to look out the window, but his side hurt too much. He may had to get stitches.  
  
He looked at the table, with various flowers on it. One was a rose from Sandy. Another was his favorite yellow flower from Muriel's flowerbed. There was nothing from Eustace of course. Then he noticed a black flower that wasn't there before. He read the card.  
  
"Get well soon. From: The Rexco Corp, and Rex Show Inc. P.S. You might want to look outside."  
  
Courage tossed it away with a "bah!" but couldn't help but wonder what "look outside" meant.  
  
He wished he could, because at that very moment, Zim was dragging something sharp behind him. It was one of his legs, broken. Three still functioned, and Zim was determined to finish his job. That dog will get in the way, spoil his plan, and get him busted! A triple threat like that, can't be ignored.  
  
"I will finish him off once and for all! I will not let him get in my way!!" 


	8. The Plot Sickens

Zim had somehow made it past security with his dragging metal leg. How, is anyone's guess. All that mattered now was Courage was trapped in his room, and in no condition to escape!  
  
"GIR!" Zim hollered.  
  
"Yes my master!" Gir zipped in.  
  
"Where have you been? It doesn't take that long to haul the thingy into the house!" Zim scolded.  
  
"I had to wait until you got done playing with the doggy, I needed the room!" Gir said, his eyes blue again.  
  
Zim shook his head. "Go distract the nurse, I will get the dog! He's my only witness!"  
  
Gir hopped off, putting his dog outfit on once again.  
  
"Oh, what a cute doggy! How'd you get in here?" the nurse could be overheard by Zim, who was studying the chart before him.  
  
"Courage, room 402. Hmmm." Zim mumbled to himself, looking at the sprawling Nowhere Hospital map. "That is on floor 4. So I'll take this pulley device designed to transport humans to higher levels of structures. Commonly referred to as an 'elevator'." Zim said to himself. He ran to get into one before the doors closed. The person getting off of the elevator looked at Zim suspiciously. It was Agent R, just leaving!  
  
Zim stood in the elevator for a few minuets, before finally realizing he had gone nowhere.  
  
"What is wrong with this stupid contraption?!" Zim yelled.  
  
"Hmmm," he muttered, looking at the buttons on the wall. He noticed they were numbered. Taking a lucky shot, he pushed "4" for floor four.  
  
The elevator hummed to life, making Zim jump. Before he knew it, he was on the fourth floor, and the doors opened.  
  
"Fourth floor, going down." The elevator recited in it's monotone voice.  
  
"Who said that?!" Zim screamed, spinning around. He saw only the elevator, and mumbled some alien obscenities under his breath.  
  
Courage heard the elevator echo down the hall, and wondered if anyone came back.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
Back at the scene of the crash, Eustace and Muriel were now inside the house, cleaning up. Agent R approached Agents Gareth and DM, who were still patrolling.  
  
"I got some great shots, but I think you should see some of them.really weird!" DM said holding up here camera.  
  
"Not now, Courage is making up stories of an alien attacking him." Agent R said.  
  
"We should investigate!" Gareth pointed out.  
  
"No. This alien is in none of our databases. As for being undiscovered, we don't know. But we have every species catalogued, so that rules that out."  
  
"That's what I'm trying to tell you guys! I got pictures of this alien guy!" DM said, almost angry.  
  
Agent R looked at DM for a moment, then told her to go get them developed.  
  
DM nodded, and walked off toward the AUV to find a drugstore.  
  
Agent R spun around and noticed something different.  
  
"Where's the satellite?" Agent R asked, cocking an eyebrow behind his shades.  
  
"It's weird really. DM saw a green dog and started playing with it, then the dog disappeared, carrying the satellite." Gareth said.  
  
"And you didn't stop him?" Agent R asked, turning back around.  
  
"Probably the gas making us see things, so I didn't bother." Gareth replied.  
  
Agent R sighed, then remembered something.  
  
"Speaking of gas, heard from Agent Gammon?" Agent R asked.  
  
"No, all I heard was a lot of shouting and that was it." Gareth said, shrugging.  
  
Agent R looked back at the empty crater, thinking.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
In Nowhere City...  
  
"Look, you got the wrong guy. I don't want to oppose your 'law', I want to cure you!" Agent Gammon said, holding up his hands.  
  
"Cure us from what?" Mayor Fifth asked.  
  
"The gas!" Agent Gammon yelled.  
  
"What gas?" someone asked.  
  
"The gas you breathed in!!" Gammon shouted  
  
"This gas?" someone else asked.  
  
Agent R had to throw his earpiece to the ground because the scream was so deafening. 


	9. Short But Sweet

Courage strained to see out the door, but couldn't see anyone, or anything. He laid back down and hoped it was just his imagination.  
  
Zim slowly approached the room, and pushed open the door. He slipped in and stood right over Courage.  
  
"First, I'm gonna study you to see what makes you talk. Then, I'm gonna dissect you! Then I'm gonna destroy any and all existence of you! With you out of the way my plan will be fulfilled!" zim whispered as he looked over the sleeping dog.  
  
Courage's eyes snapped open, and a bedpan blindsided Zim, knocking him to the floor. Courage wasn't dumb, not by a long shot. This seriously ticked Zim off. Another fight was about to ensue when Agent R came back in the room. He grabbed Zim just before he lunged at Courage.  
  
"Who are you and what do you want?" Agent R asked, keeping Zim in an arm-lock.  
  
"I am merely a little schoolboy who lost my way on a field trip." Zim said, zapping Agent R with a device.  
  
"Yes. I believe you. Run along back to your group little boy." Agent R said, sending Zim along.  
  
Agent R left, and Courage wondered what the hell just happened. He spotted another black rose on the table, and another note.  
  
"Mindwashing is cool, ain't it? Wish you were here! Rexco."  
  
Courage tossed it away with another scoff.  
  
**************************************************************************** **********  
  
"I would like these pictures developed please." Agent DM said, sliding them over the counter in the envelope.  
  
"Okay, they will be ready in an hour." The manager said.  
  
"I'll just be around here, let me know." Agent DM said. She left her earpiece on so as not to lose contact with the other agents. Unfortunately, Gir had picked up the signal! Zim told him earlier to monitor the agents, and let him know if anything would happen to blow his cover.  
  
"Zim! Zim!" Gir said, running up to him when he got outside. He pulled back the dog mask. His eyes turned red and he played back the recording.  
  
"We must destroy those pictures! As long as no one believes the dog, he's fine for now." Zim said.  
  
"Too the drugstore!" Zim said, pointing dramatically.  
  
"Yay! They got cool magazines!" Gir said, jumping happily. 


	10. SMILE!

"Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, !"  
  
"Must you do that Gir?" Zim asked, getting annoyed. They were sitting on the cross-town bus heading into downtown Nowhere. There was a woman that wouldn't shut up, a homeless giraffe drooling in his sleep, and a little man with a white mustache. (remember these guys from Courage?)  
  
The bus passed by a big bonfire started by the citizens. Everyone on the bus seemed a bit crazy too.  
  
"That gas must've made it to the city. Meaning we can get in and out without no problem." Zim said, pointing out the window.  
  
"Hey! Who's the suit?" Gir asked.  
  
Agent Gammon was busy shouting some obscenities at the disillusioned townsfolk.  
  
"Probably some crazy looney earthling." Zim said. "It's sad really, I think they could benefit from our knowledge. That is, if they weren't so stupid."  
  
They got off, and walked to the drugstore. Agent DM was the only one in the store, browsing through "Pojo's Sailor Moon" magazine. The manager didn't appear to be affected by the gas either, so he was still normal in a sense.  
  
"Excuse me sir, I would like to pick up some photos." Zim said, trying to sound professional.  
  
"You have a claim slip?" the manager asked.  
  
"Hold that thought." Zim said, and he ran to the back of the store, past the messy shelves from the previous lootings.  
  
He made it to the aisle behind the magazine isle. They quickly hid behind books, to mask their presence as DM felt a slight breeze when they ran by.  
  
She turned her back and continued reading.  
  
"Now Gir!. GIR" Zim whispered loudly.  
  
"Huh? Oh, sorry. This Steven King book is cool!" Gir said childishly, showing him the cover. It was Christine (hint, hint haunted car?).  
  
"Put that stuff down! We have no time for fiction, this is reality!" Zim snapped.  
  
"Okay." Gir said. He put the book in a compartment in his body.  
  
Zim sighed, as he watched Gir do his thing.  
  
Gir almost had the slip from DM's pocket, but the top of his head was greeted by a mallet!  
  
"Trying to steal my wallet! Well, Sailor DM will stop all wrongs!" and she took another swing at Zim this time.  
  
The two aliens bolted out the door.  
  
"Think she's affected too?" Zim asked, trying to get his breath back.  
  
"No, she's normal." Gir said.  
  
"Crazy humans." Zim said, shaking his head.  
  
Back at the hospital, everything went dark. When Courage awoke, he had stitches in his wound, and one of those embarrassing cones around his neck.  
  
"Nothing to worry about, nothing at all. Just keep him away from the stitches and he will be fine." Dr. Vindaloo said.  
  
Muriel nodded, and tried to comfort Courage. Eustace only laughed.  
  
"Stupid dog looks like a road cone!" he remarked.  
  
Courage rolled his eyes. Maybe he should let Zim take the farmer.  
  
It was almost night now. Courage tried to sleep, but the cone made it impossible to lay in any direction. Since Zim was out doing god knows what, Courage took his cot back for tonight. He looked to make sure no one was around, and pulled the cone off. He was smart enough to not bother the stitches, why did he need that thing?  
  
He lie on his back, scratching his raw neck. He still couldn't sleep. He rummaged for one of his books, kept under his cot. He read them all before, but they were still better than the net. It is how he got so smart after all.  
  
He pushed aside his stack of scented love letters from Sandy, and his autographed album from Molly, to find his book collection. He found a black one he never noticed before, and pulled it out. Inside it was a bunch of alien writing and math equations.  
  
"He can do all this math, yet can't do simple things?" Courage said to himself.  
  
Not only did the satellite have all of earth's history, it also contained enough parts to convert it into a laser. Courage didn't understand, or even heard of the technology (it's a laser similar to what the Planet Jackers use), but knew it wasn't good. Two big half spheres were sketched out, with math equations telling the size and diameter. They were on either side of a cartoon earth.  
  
He put the book down, and grabbed another one. Reading calmed him down some. It was a collection of Batman stories.  
  
Zim on the other hand, still needed to conceal his existence, before going into action. If one person knew, it would be all over this "internet" and that would be it. People would lash out in fear, and result in mission failure.  
  
DM walked out of the drugstore, eating a candy bar. She looked at the pictures wide eyed. Zim followed her back to the AUV, but had to take the bus back to the farm. The stop was four miles away from the farm, meaning that DM would still get there first.  
  
"This had better be worth it, or so help me I'm going to..." Zim muttered under his breath as he ran as fast as he could on his three remaining spider legs.  
  
Back at the farm, Courage had went downstairs and watched some TV. Among the various infomercials, and dirty films, he finally stopped on Cartoon Network. He saw the music video for the song that They Might Be Giants wrote for him, when they were there. (I know you've seen it)  
  
He heard the AUV stop outside, and the door open and slam. DM was back. Courage looked out the window, and saw she had pictures.  
  
She walked in and sat on the couch nest to Courage.  
  
"I got proof! I am gonna defend you!" DM said. "I just love animals! Especially you!" she said snuggling Courage.  
  
He looked at the pictures. All he saw was various shots of wildlife going really fast.  
  
"Took those on the way here." She said.  
  
Courage sighed, and continued looking, and found a picture of Zim leaving the house after the scuffle.  
  
He was a shadow against the sun, but the light caught the metal legs well, making some of his green skin visible.  
  
THIS IS IT? Courage thought. No one is going to buy this!  
  
Still, he opted to put it up on the net. Any evidence would slow Zim enough to stop him.  
  
No one would look at it at this hour, except one man.  
  
"Dad, you might want to look at this!" Dib said.  
  
"Not now son! Something strange is going on. There are two big half spheres being built in space right now." Professor Membrane said, looking at live NASA footage.  
  
Zim was going to be pissed. Not only was his cover inches away from being blown, he risked his life for a picture that wasn't nothing anyway! 


	11. Play My Game Earthling AKA Dib is Coming

[How big of Invader Zim fan are you? Play "Spot The References" and see just how big of fan you say you are! If you're good, I'll tell you the answers! Then I will pepper the other chapters with more references! After all, there are five seasons! (this also means that it will be slightly longer to post for this story, as I have to incorporate references. I decided that Zim should have more than one plan at his disposal, and somehow made this twisted story longer!)]  
  
Zim made it to the farm, and saw the AUV already parked.  
  
"She's already here! I got to destroy that picture!" Zim yelled, growing really worried.  
  
"Maybe I can get it from her!" Gir said, putting his dog costume on again.  
  
He walked in and saw the girl and the dog on the couch. He leapt up into DM's lap.  
  
"Hey!" DM said, making Gir jump. Did she remember him from the drugstore?  
  
"Your that doggy I hit with my mallet! I'm sorry! Are you alright?! I just got scared is all!" DM said, hugging Gir.  
  
Gir managed to get the photo and shred it, mission accomplished.  
  
Zim had snuck up to the attic when attention was focused away. He got onto the computer and saw that his mug was already on the net!  
  
"THIS IS IT? No one will buy this!" Zim said, feeling relieved. He slumped back in the chair and laughed at his panic over nothing.  
  
"You've got mail." The familiar AOL voice chimed. Zim looked around to see if he was alone, and read the letter. It was to Courage, but Zim was never one for privacy.  
  
"I saw your picture and I believe you! I am on my way out there now to stop Zim once and for all! Only I know his secret!" the letter read.  
  
"signed, Dib."  
  
Zim smiled. "You may know my secrets human, but I know yours now! Try and stop me, I'm almost complete!" Zim laughed maniacally and went to work. He ripped the satellite apart and began putting it back together.  
  
"The alloy in this doohickey shall provide enough electromagnetic force to attract the two halves of the sphere in space. Then I will rip earth out of orbit and show the Almighty Tall Ones what a success I am! I am tired of their constant insults! They don't believe me, so I'll SHOW them!" Zim mumbled to himself. "Saying I'm not good enough for Operation: Impending Doom II.." Zim trailed off.  
  
Agent R was overcoming a headache, and had been sleeping in Muriel's room at her consent. He overheard this, and realized Courage was right after all. An apology was in order, and fast. But how could Zim dupe NASA into building the devices needed for their own kidnapping?  
  
"So we get a lifetime supply of doughnuts and coffee if we do this for some stranger who we never met before?" a NASA scientist asked.  
  
"Yep." The short mustached sergeant said, hitting the general over the head with a hammer.  
  
Agent R ran downstairs to warn Courage, but he was gone! He ran back upstairs and saw Zim had jumped out the window and climbed down the side of the house.  
  
Agent R ran outside and saw Courage acting strangely. He ran up to him to see Zim and Gir outside with the completed device!  
  
"What did you do with Courage?" Agent R demanded.  
  
"We merely gave him an adjustment of his normal brainwaves." Zim said tenting his claws. "In layman's terms, we mind-washed him! Sic him boy!" Zim yelled.  
  
Courage leapt at Agent R with rabid fury, gnashing his teeth and drooling until he was foaming at the mouth. Agent R didn't want to do anything drastic, but had to throw him to the ground after Courage bit his arm.  
  
"I know your plan! I heard the whole thing!" Agent R yelled.  
  
"So you do, but you can't stop me!" Zim said, starting up the laser. Courage leapt at Agent R again, and he did the only thing he could. He slapped Courage across the face, hard. Courage hit the ground, and felt groggy.  
  
"Wha...what happened?" Courage asked, rubbing his cheek. "Everything blacked out, and now I got a headache."  
  
"It's a long story, just try to relax and get better. We need you." Agent R said.  
  
"For what?" Courage asked sleepily. He looked and saw Zim with his warming laser.  
  
"See? I told you." Courage said, less angry than he would've liked it to sound.  
  
"I know. I'm sorry. But now we got to stop Zim before he finishes his plan." Agent R said, patting Courage on the head. "Stay with me. Don't pass out, man. C'mon." Agent R said softly.  
  
"I feel so tired, I'm in no condition to stop him. I couldn't even do it fully awake. Just give him one for me." Courage said yawing, falling asleep.  
  
"I got to get him to a safe pace, or he'll wake up dead." Agent R said to himself, picking up Courage's snoring body.  
  
In the city, Agent Gammon looked up and saw the sky seeming to close up like a dome. (As any Zim fan knows, the Planet Jacker's use a sphere with a holographic sky, so it appears nothing is wrong.)  
  
"Something weird is going on here." He said. The disillusioned townsfolk looked up.  
  
"Sky closes in on itself! It is the sign of Armageddon!" one of them said, pointing up.  
  
"No you fools! It's something of alien origin! I read about it in the database of alien life-forms. This is Planet Jacker technology, but there hasn't been a documented case of them since August 13th of 2001 when they tried to use us as fuel for their dying sun." Agent Gammon said.  
  
"He's in on it! Get him!" one of the folk shouted. Gammon was once again running.  
  
"Remember when I drew that face on you honking zit? That was funny!" Gir said.  
  
"How is that relevant to our situation now?" Zim asked with a quirked eyebrow.  
  
"It's just funny!" Gir said.  
  
Zim was about to say something, but the laser sputtered and died.  
  
"NOOOO! I was so close! I got to make repairs! Come Gir, to the crudely built shelter for farm life-forms!" Zim said.  
  
"Cool! I wanted to go into the barn!" Gir said. "Can we order Bloaty's Pizza Hog?"  
  
"and get another Zit?" Zim asked.  
  
Agent R was confused at what they were jabbering about. He knew it wasn't good though.  
  
Dib was on his way to Nowhere. Professor Membrane was too busy to drive, so he was forced to take a Greyhound (these things are everywhere aren't they?) to get to Nowhere. He pulled a cell phone out of his jacket pocket and dialed the number he had programmed. 1-555-555-0199.  
  
"Yes, I'd like to report an invasion in Nowhere, Kansas! Yes I'll hold." Dib sighed.  
  
He could hear the voices muttering on the other end. "It's that Dib again, what should I tell him?" and "Him again? Doesn't he know when to stop with his wild stories?"  
  
Zim looked in the small freezer kept for emergencies. "GHAAA! BOLOGNA! Get it away!" Zim screamed, backing away.  
  
"Look Zim, I can make this a stupid ray!" Gir said, plugging himself into the laser and shocking himself. He giggled, and did it again.  
  
Zim smiled. The Planet-Jacker idea failed. But there was more than one way to rule a planet!  
  
"GIR! PUT THAT AWAY! THIS IS NO TIME FOR GAMES!" Zim shouted.  
  
"Sorry." Gir said, putting his Game Slave 2 away. 


	12. Dib Finally Shows Up!

(Answers: Gir making reference to Zim's zit in the episode "Rise of Zitboy", Bloaty's Pizza Hog form "Bloaty's Pizza Hog", the exact air-date of "Planet Jackers", the number Dib dialed is for Mysterious Mysteries first seen in "Mysterious Mysteries", the number is given in "Bloaty's Pizza Hog", Game Slave 2 from "Game Slave 2", Gir referencing to the stupid ray, and finally Zim's bologna fear from "Bolognaus Maximus" Did you get them all? "The worst Christmas Ever" was the last episode to ever see airtime, and the show was scrapped, leaving only the main ideas for many more episodes.)  
  
"Well, Gir. Apparently this whole idea was a flop. Dib is on his way here, and I don't know what to do." Zim said, feeling defeated.  
  
Minimoose squeaked. (He's from a series of canned episodes "Nubs of Doom" and "The Most Horrible Christmas Ever". He was a mini rubber moose invented by Zim with a ton of firepower. All he wants to do is float and squeak and blew up Zim's house due to lack of Zim's control.)  
  
"Hmm. I wonder what we can do?" Zim said, thinking.  
  
"Maybe we can upload my brain into the computer in the attic. Then I can dominate all things electronic!" Gir said. This was the first brilliant idea he had.  
  
"Or maybe, we can get Skoodge to help us." Zim said. Minimoose and Gir looked at each other and nodded. Skoodge would be a good help.  
  
Zim's PAK released the spider legs, and handed him a communicator.  
  
Courage was keeping an eye on the barn from the living room window. He woke up and decided to watch out for Dib's arrival.  
  
A Greyhound pulled up and stopped. Dib got off and looked at the bus as it drove off. Interesting people on that ride. He looked at the wooden house, and saw a dog in the window. He waved and the dog waved back.  
  
"That must be Courage. The one who posted the picture. Zim is around here somewhere. I know his true weakness! Without his backpack, he'll die in ten minuets!" Dib said. He was confident that his plan would work, but getting to Zim wasn't going to be easy.  
  
"Maybe we can use those alien pants that control people!" (another canned episode) Skoodge said from the communicator.  
  
"Maybe. Gir, to the Voot Cruiser!" Zim announced.  
  
"YAY!" Gir shouted. He ran to the cruiser.  
  
Dib saw the ship take off, and fly into space.  
  
"He'll be back." Dib said to himself. He approached the house.  
  
"Oh my, and who are you?" Muriel asked happily.  
  
"I'm Dib, Mrs..."  
  
"Call me Muriel, dear. Won't you come in?"  
  
Dib sat on the couch, next to Courage.  
  
"Stupid freaks and their gothic grunge music." Eustace mumbled, seeing Dib's all black ensemble.  
  
"Hey, Dib. I can talk, but I'm not an alien so don't freak out on me okay?" Courage said before anything else was said.  
  
Dib was amazed, but promised he wouldn't freak out. A talking dog that wasn't alien? Weird.  
  
"So what is that Irkien scum up to now?" Dib asked, seeming angered.  
  
"I don't know. First he tried to jack the planet, now he's off doing something." Courage said, looking out at the destroyed barn.  
  
"I thought I defeated him. I went to planet Meekrob to help them stop Zim and the Irkiens. We shot him into an asteroid, and thought we heard the last of him." Dib said, feeling disappointed and hanging his head.  
  
Courage patted him on the shoulder. "Hey, now you can finally beat him then." 


End file.
